thanks for commenting i really appreciate it.

i know family is important to some people. however, his immediate family are the only important family(they all live 5 minutes from each other) the family he's seeing in miami are family he's meeting for the second time. i just feel like i've been there through it all where as these people don't even know anything about him.

on another note...i think your daughter will be proud of you. those two amazing things you named are priceless. without going through these test you'll never have a testimony. maybe your going through these trials so one day you can tell your daughter your experiences and she can learn from them.

Aw, thanks for the add - I too added you. 

I'm sorry to hear that your happiness got taken away... Try to not let the bad things get you down, and maybe if they get you down too much, try taking them out of your life... so you'll smile more. 

You should post your pictures on here - I would love to see them. ttyl

[soccermomma]

Sound like u're having a bad day,

but tell you wht, tomorrow's gonna be RAD!!

as in tonnes of times better!!

 I promise!

cheers and 'the' promise,

me!

sounds like you had a fun day. =)

[ShamelessPain]

ok!

so then, happy birthday to cassandra!

the bestest of wishes to her from my side!

really hope the smile that she has when she's opening her presents stays there all year long!

reguards,

me!

Happy birthday to your daughter from me too!

wht's her name?

cheers and b'day blisses,

me!

Been there...the most heart breaking a mothe can experiance is when a child is on the phone begging them to come home.

Dont worry, time gives us a break when we need it.  It is not how much time you spend but how you spend those moments.

Hang in there.

aww, that sucks about your job sweethear :(
im sorry!
good lucl on the withdrawl though, trying is the 2nd step!! much good luck to you!!!

love, amy.

I totally understand...ive been walked all over by boyfriends...dump his ass and find u a man that actually CARES about U...and doesnt just want u to do everything for him...honey u need to just look in the mirror and tell urself that ur the boss and hes a fag!!! i do it all the time...ull definantly feel alot better!! trust me

Go to your room and cry it out. That's what I do. Write a story. Writing is my escape. I've felt like that once. I'm sure other's have too. Please, don't feel like you're the only one. Talk to God, he's always there.

-[J]ovonnah [B]unny [R]abbit AKA [P]yromaniac [B]unny 

Have a nice sleep.

-Jovonnah Bunny Rabbit AKA Pyromaniac Bunny

glad you got out of the abuse, but in no way is my stepdaughter abused in our home. 

SHe tried to run away twice and as she was running away I caught her by her pony tail...that is the extent of any harm to her body....then when my stepson attacked me, to get him off I bit his thumb...his remark when he got off "did it taste good"

SO these kids need to be minded....there 11 & 13yrs old thinking they are 18 & 20yrs living on thier own and doing what they want.  then they come and see thier father and are shocked to do household chores and have a bedtime along with going to church.

It just amazes me today and how kids act.  At my age I would of gotten the back of my fathers hand or the belt on my naked behind....and believe me if you think I have not thought of that for these two kids, your sadly mistaken. 

i know exactly what you mean. Ug people are such dicks lol. When I lived in Connecticut that's how everybody was. I've been to trenton a bunch of times when I was younger, my grandparents lived there now mygpa lives somewhere in brick county

[ShamelessPain]

ah...i gotcha.
a) its thoughtful of them to take custody!
b) its good of you to have the sense to keep her close and still take care of her and everything. more than alot of mothers do. amazinggggg.

loves, amy.

is the below comment true? not to be nosy. just wondering cuz no where in that entry did you actually SAY they had custody....

and that is SOOOO sweet that she comes to sleep with you!!! <333
how adorable.
how old is she?

yay for seeing alex!!
yall are cute, from your pics.

and my dads totally the same way!

Aww. that's so sweet.

This is a poopy color lol. Well have a good one.

<3 Alexis.

Add me on myspace =)

myspace.com/iheartimprov

It sounds like he could be bipolar like you. Must be hard to deal with for both of you. Lot's of emotions.

It's 4am and I couldn't sleep, so I came on here for a second. I am going to try to go to sleep again.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

Wow what a crazy night. You sound like a really great mom.

I hope you got some sleep finally. =)

Sounds like you have had some problems in your relationship but have overcome them together.  I love cuddling but hubby is very selfish and wants all of the attention LOL!

I understand the sleeping problems.  I have problems sleeping resulting from pain.  Usually it is easy to fall asleep but I wake up and then can't get back to sleep.  Have you identified the problem?

[CrimsonRedFox]

That's so cute.  Not many people are able to keep close relationships with their kids when they get older, but I hope you are.  My daughter is 16 now, we hang out every day, talk about everything, and have a great time together.  I wish everyone was this lucky!

thanks for the comment..

BTW sleep early ^_^

aww your entry is sweet.

and i'll try to remember to add you on myspace.

loves, amy.

Lol coming from a fellow person who screws up a lot, it's always really neat when you can make it up to people when you screw up and then just let the problem drift away :]

Gets tons of weight off ya shoulders, know what i mean?

much love <3

Commenting Back
Hey I am so glad you enjoyed reading my list. Over the past three years (including this one) there is always one guy that I fall for and in the end its always a disasssterrr! So I just thought of the things i was doing wrong and thinking of ways to keep it from happening all over agian cause next year is my senior year and hell... I wanna enjoy ever part of it...
I always think once a guy likes me that i need to change to keep him... so I scream in the morning when my hair sucks and then i make an appt to get it cut and i spend my life savings on it and it dosent turn out good or then ill join a gym cause i dont like my weight and I JUST FINALLY REALIZED that he choose me WAY before the changes i made to myself which means he liked how i was before and i dont needa change.

Hope things get better.
Thankyou for the add to the favs :) It's appreciated.
&& you can find some loves quotes- as in words in picture format- on entrys before.
x

yeah about you queastion about an arranged marrige. It's when your parents pick who you'll marry usually it happens while you're still a baby and usually you have no say in who they pick. Luckily for me I got to pick my feauture husband and the arranged marrige only became official a couple weeks ago. So yeah I hope that answered your queastion if not just ask me to explain it some more

-Shadikui

I know how hard it is to have someone you really care about be gone for a long (or what seems like a long period of time) time...but he'll be home soon enough...right?  For about 6 months my husband was a semi-truck driver and drove all over the country.  I wasn't able to get a cell phone until about 4 months in...it was horrible for me.  I was living with some a**h*** roommates...it was horrible.

Anyway...thanks for the comment on my diary.  I don't understand why they are making you wait so long before being put on any meds...that seems crazy and asking for trouble.  Can you have yourself put in the hospital so they can put you on meds right away?

I would love to hear about your experiences with in and out patient...

Anyway I hope you have a nice weekend.  Take care. Tonya

I've been to that six flags before. I only like about one hundred miles away from it, according to google maps I'm 112 miles from there.

wow exciting news. glad to hear about the little girl :)

yeah thanks for the comment ugh i couldnt help but change my number but it makes me so upset about that girl i wanna punch her in the face so bad but im not gonna. but like i was talkin about him whenever i went and hung out with her and i guess she looked for him on myspace and she might just be wantin to see how great i was talkin about him and if he'd treat her the same. but no she cheated on her boyfriend and ooooo if she hurts jamie i swear to anyone that i will beat her ass cause i care for jamie so much.

well i got work tomorrow so i needa get some sleep. night

bad timing I guess.  I love to camp.  I can't wait to go again soon. 

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

worry worry worry worry worry.

headache headache headache.

thats me!!!!

There's a guy I like, but when he gets to drinking and hanging around idiots I don't like him when he's sober he's all good and great to talk to. There is something you can do about it your mom can tell him that if he doesnt seek treatment for his alcoholism that she will have no choice, but to leave and start divorce proceedings. It's not something many people want to do, but it's a wake up call. Alcoholism is a rapidly growing disease in this country and destroys whole families, friendships, and just makes the lives of others miserable. Alcoholics dont really think about how their disease effects those around and closest to them. It's almost like I want to confront this guy and tell him he needs to start putting these immature asses he ran with as his drinking buddies out of his life because he's not going to mature as long as he hangs around them and will likely start drinking again. Stand your ground and let your father know how his disease hurts you.

I'll try to keep up with your diary, but it will be difficult, I can't do more than one thing at a time. I'm always afraid that if I don't respond to even one entry or coment, Nobody will speak to me anymore. Me being a worrier, and a silly one at that. Take care.

Chad

Thank you for the comment...........I would have read and commented on your entry but I couldn't handle the sex...It's been awhile......lmao

Chad

I know you already know this but your father can really hurt himself getting so drunk that he can't control his own footsteps. Its easy to stumble down a flight of stairs or fall and hit your head when you are "pissy drunk." I hope it changes soon.

oh well.......maybe you shoukd talk to your mom about it...u ur mom and dad should have a discussion and well......maybe...just maybe...if he needs to he should go to rehab.....whatever it is stay strong hun and dont forget we're always here for you!!
<333

xoxoxoxoxox

mwaaahhz